Google

Top ten signs you might be addicted to Google+:
10. You had spaghetti with a sauce concocted from Wyler’s Light for breakfast today
9. You called in to work “sick” all last week
8. You have more links on your Google+ profile than you do friends
7. Your friends had a memorial service for you on Saturday
6. Your pets have been leaving little “presents” for you around your home
5. You are in far more circles than people you have in circles;  unfortunately, the circles you are in are usually labeled “Block”
4. You have started thinking instant coffee tastes good
3. You have suddenly decided to conserve water by not showering or shaving
2. Your Internet service provider suspended your service for exceeding maximum      bandwith
1. Your mother’s birthday was last Sunday and you missed it

Copyrighted by Joe Kohli   Not to be used without written permission

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During my time search engine optimizing my own site and providing professional SEO services, I have seen a lot of good ways to stay undiscovered on the Internet.  Here is my top 10 list:

10. Don’t use social media; its too much trouble (don’t blog either).

9. Don’t tell anybody about your blog posts or website.

8. Don’t use the page description tag.

7. Only put the name of your site in the page title tag.

6. Have lots of pictures without any written content or alt tags.

5. Build your site with Flash.

4. Optimize your site for the name of your business.

3. Optimize your site for words or phrases you think people are using in their searches without doing any research to determine the actual words of phrases people use to find your product or service.

2. Optimize your site for words or phrases for which people are barely searching.   For example, optimize your site for Chicagoland, rather than Chicago;  or deejay, rather than DJ.

1. Spend thousands of dollars on professional web developers who craft an attractive, appealing website, and no dollars on professional search engine optimization.

If Rip Van Winkle woke from his 100 year nap today, one of the many, many things at which he would marvel,  I  am sure,  would be the Internet.   What possible frame of reference, could he conceivably have for understanding this modern miracle of science and technology?   I cannot imagine.   How could anyone ever explain it to him?

And, if eventually someday he came to some basic, primitive understanding of electricity, and TV, and then the Internet  – then possibly someday he might ask,  “Please, would you please tell me what this search engine thingamajig is?”  And, I would.

A search engine is simply an electronic tool for finding something on the Internet.